Wednesday, June 23, 2010
By Rebecca L. Morrison
“Careful, don’t drop me,”
the shelved girl sang.
Her aria wafted, dulcet –
a web spun sticky with fear.
He handled her heavy,
her ceramic skin the victim
of brambles for fingers.
A clerk had shelved her with
lensless spectacles,
trousers missing their button,
chipped china.
And as she awaited
the elderly antiquer sure to stumble
upon her, declare her a worthwhile
oddity, her Messiah came to her on high! –
dusted her smooth with
soft cloth,
polished her until she
sprang to relevé and
sang to him! – a chorus
triumphant with Alleluias.
He shelved her with
Mexican silver,
white Italian truffles, and
nestled her to sleep in a bed of
Japanese silk, and
weighed her slight frame,
heavy like gold.
noon,
bitten by Northern winds.
Your lips visited my cheek
unlingered,
and I blushed, I held you closer.
I heard you taking off yesterday,
midnight,
hundreds of feet away.
And the wires resounded with
potency,
beating hearts,
my lengthy questions.
I watched you taking off this morning,
dawn,
'neath a blanket of slumbered eyes.
And your white chariot blazed its way to
better health,
raw hearts,
my girlish anticipation.
But as you took off,
I felt neither flight nor fancy:
only rivers of yearning
as they clung to my chin.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
My thoughts are composed
of hummingbirds, like the
way my preset radio station
turns to static when I leave
the city limits. I still make
sense of it, but only just.
And I'd rather not, for I'm
prone to migraines, and I'd
rather not have that aura -
the one that warns me I'll
explode with drear and misery,
and those awful hallucinations I
had when I was young. But the
"chh-schh-chhh" drives me insane
enough to cling, to hope that
clarity might find me. I know I
should change the dial to
something local, but the feedback
lingers in my speakers a touch too
long. I'm indecisive; I won't switch
the station, because my favorite
song airs next and the only other
channel I know is NPR. Real.
Familiar. Too lonely. And before
I can suppress it,
I've got this tear
forming in the outer
corner of my left eye. I'm
too exhausted to fight it.
I could U-turn and find
my way back home,
but you see, I told myself
that you'd had your last
chance, because I'm tired of
blinking you away. And,
can't you see? I'm trying
to find a way to tell you
that I'm through with you,
for the static is imprecise
and deafening. The static
has torn my shell to shreds.
Honeydew
By Rebecca L. Morrison
This time, I've got a dark-skinned cabbie whose tangy inflections roll like the steel drums I heard in the Caribbean fourteen years ago. His cracked and callused hands beat the steering wheel as though he fancies himself the renowned conductor of an orchestra that creates crackling urban radio waves. Within, I call him Bob Marley, and he called me "pretty young mamasita" as I slid across the back seat.
My gaze does not restrict itself to the rising fare. I am free to roam the hell out of this golden pasture.
I was pampered with feminine finery last time in what he insultingly dubbed my "Pretty Woman moment" (I am no goddamned hooker), and tonight I am decked to the nines with my tits pushed high, guns blazing and feet smarting from a pair of thousand dollar pumps that apparently run a half-size small. I sat on the floor of my sweaty studio apartment and painted these features with nonchalance. I stagnate between a trampoline and a concrete ceiling, and only through desperation do I remain deflated.
I slip him two twenties; he can keep the change. My friends have noticed that I'm tipping like an aristocrat this week, and I have absolutely arrived, all two decades of me. I am floating in-between yesterday's midterm and tomorrow's early class; I suspend my realities with the grandiose.
"Maybe I'll brim my bathtub with diamonds tomorrow. Maybe I'll wake up, and everything I touch will mythically turn to gold." Help! I'm wallowing in optimism again. Even when positioned on the pedestal he reserves for perfection, he's still got a foot of height on me.
I'm entering the Taj Mahal of out-of-the-way chain hotels. You couldn't pay him to stay in the city. You see, here he can strap a kayak to his truck overnight, and in the morning he's only lost a modicum of decency. The door to suite 505 swings open; my feet part with the lowly carpeting, and I am Cleopatra. I am a koala. I have strawberry-kiwi kisses for sale. I smell of "flowers and citrus, with a hint of the ocean", he says, and my back brushes a high Egyptian thread count.
It is the loneliest of blisses, you know, to be young and female, naive and dynamic, to have those moonlit baby blues and Marilyn's proportionate curvature. As those nights without Jack wore on, she'd invent a new man, one whose chest warmed the contours of her back in slumber, a man who gave her lazy Sundays and breakfasts in bed.
I am a material asset, comparable to thousands of acres of farmland or a vintage Rolex. I am the painted china doll his mother kept well-preserved in a glass collector's case. He is ardent and keen, but he is cautious; he is in fact a paranoid schizophrenic. The maid knows his secret, and he folds me away in the corner when she knocks with his spare bath towels. The concierge, he is eager to blow his cover with a well-placed phone call, and "Jack" is double-oh-seven as he whisks me through an alternate exit.
The still and dew of the April night have dusted his truck, and it is as yellow as my cotton sundress. And, with a kiss and a sealed envelope, I traipse the stairs to my filthy little flat, where the toilet overflows daily and my showers last 8 minutes when the world is kind. He tells me he'll house me somewhere nicer come August, a place with a garbage disposal, thicker walls, WiFi and a closet. I am charity without the tax deduction.
To the wives who married for money only to let themselves go, daytime television warned you about me. I look better in your diamonds.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
For an alternate version, see this piece.
Humbert in Verse (A Love Letter)
By Rebecca L. Morrison
Oh, Dolores…
I’ve become illuminated
by the way your
silken stockings slouch
below the knee and past
mine eyes.
The textile gilding your
slight ankles
imparts a rather
tawdry name.
The books that
rinse your wits of me,
you covet them like
Christmas Day.
I knew you distinctly
once more, once more,
in Junes, Julys
and Augusts
of childhood,
of sand, sun
and greenest seas.
The sweets of your
saccharine lips
unwrap my conscious
and send me
careening.
Dolores, my name now
falls surrendered to my desires,
and my
limbs ache
for the nuanced seduction
in your lisp.
Again, I sin; once more, for you.
You demand little but the dewdrops,
craning a coltish neck
to meet my
weathered chest whilst you
linger
with restless toes and
tea-saucers for eyes.
Once the playground
swings sense stillness,
my tongue climbs my teeth;
my mind unwinds
your ringlets.
You came with the seraphs,
the noblest seraphs,
whose wings were torn
by tangles of thorns.
By Rebecca L. Morrison
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
SPAM.
By Rebecca L. Morrison
If I could carve my mind from
the skull like an avocado pit, slice it with
serrated cutlery
like crusty bread you'd dip in extra-virgin olive oil
and fresh, fragrant herbs,
employ a cutting board, some paper towels
and a thick Merriam-Webster
to sap the moisture
like I do with slabs of tofu,
extra-firm,
cube it with wire or fishing line
and marinade it
in Mom's homemade basil pesto
'til it's mmm savory, tasty,
and feed it to a hungry industrial meat-grinder
by the pregnant handful,
and if Bobby Flay could
pat it to perfect patties
and lull it to sleep over lit mesquite,
then yes, I'd have a shining prize
to read aloud tonight.
Father's Day
By Rebecca L. Morrison
I. Oil Struck
In the 80s, America railed
too much blow
through big, big bills.
Big hair, big economy,
big was the way we saw
our impotent balls.
Generation X made fortunes
then sniffed them to residue.
I've got a bad back, or I'd
clean up the mess (the one
Regan couldn't).
In the 80s, I cut lines of ink and paper.
Turned it all over, got rich quick. Lost
my first child, lost my religion.
II. Emerald Struck
With wife number three, I got it
right. Skinny baby's legs went on
for miles. Could've poured her skin
over cereal. Hundred percent sex
in a tight black dress,
smoldering Marlboro Reds,
ring finger shining like envy.
Her best friend Ana craved
a threesome, but I force-fed
skinny baby buttery stir-fries,
oily shrimp scampi, cheddar
cheese, oozing and sharp, until,
one day, she lost her self-esteem.
The wind doesn't scare us these days.
Baby got fat, and Ana don't
come around no more.
III. Striking A Balance
The wall tumbled down in October;
I met a red-head that December.
Five pounds, eight ounces.
Tiny little cherub
with a set of raspy lungs
screaming cry, cry baby,
honey, welcome back home.
I walked the floors every night,
hydrated her roots, gave her room
to grow. Now, she's wilting,
and my hair ran off,
and fat baby won't
show me her teeth no more.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Killing Cowboys
By Rebecca L. Morrison
I'm reduced to skeletons,
defined by the tyranny of
my mother's eyes.
With a flame cindered 'neath
my lips, I'm found amongst
cacti and ruins.
I'm fated to die a dewy fawn:
penniless and spindly,
with breath like humid Julys.
I'm justified to burden
this broken body
limb to limb,
lung to lung.
Evading the kind eyes
that warm my bed,
that rial my head
whilst I shiver
alone, alone.
I'm known to inspire
alone, alone
in the sand and canyons
that bury us whole.
He's So Heavy
By Rebecca L. Morrison
I am mapped red-hot
in Tanzania,
in Sicily.
I hibernate
in the Hawaiian tropics.
The sludge I spew turns
to smoke,
to opium,
to pure Afghani heroin,
and it trills by the
squalid droplet to
brim my bathroom sink.
Crazed, I limp
with each blushing sun,
across the savage tile to
chase his majesty’s gremlins
from the crevices of my
girlish dimples, my
listless lids.
He swore they’d
never know his teeth,
yet they’re familiar
with his inbred gums.
Mine bleed with gingivitis.
And we joust,
and we self-medicate,
and we ape the adults we’ve seen
propped against podiums,
the twenty-somethings we’ve seen
with pupils dilated.
He warbled a tinny calypso,
looted me from the flotsam,
overturned the sunken ship,
splintered my ribs. Under rocks
and reefs, we retrieved his
golden timepiece, his heirloom
from the ocean’s floor.
He swore he’d seen the sea,
but time is for tadpoles and
our parents’ friends. We wish it
upon our worst enemies, then
cringe at their naked wrists.
I am naked when the water turns briny, and
I am bare when you kick off your sneakers,
and the flickering of a candle
and the realization that the wind
has compromised it before we could
fish the methadone from our pockets.